Twin Soul vs. Toxic Relationship: How to Tell the Difference

By Lorraine Vesterink

I was so happy to receive this message from someone on this channel. She watched the video about the signs and stages of a twin soul relationship, and this is what she wrote:

“I used to be one of those people who assumed people who shared twin flame experiences were just romanticizing toxic relationships.
Even when a friend of mine remarked that he and I were like twin flames (due to synchronicities and telepathic behavior) I laughed it off.
But watching this video, my jaw has dropped twice. Pretty much all the points you’ve been laying out match my experience with him exactly. It’s almost unbelievable.
I normally don’t leave comments on videos, but I just feel that I really need to express my reaction to this because I’m just blown away!”

This message is exactly why I made a video on this subject.
So many people confuse a twin soul relationship with a narcissistic or toxic one.
There are videos out there suggesting twin flames are just excuses to stay in unhealthy situations—
but I see things very differently.

My Belief

My belief is based on:

• In-depth research

• Teachings and conversations with students in our Twin Soul School

• And my own experience with my twin flame

🔥 Sign #1:

A twin flame will NOT insult or tear you down.
That happens in toxic relationships—not twin soul connections.

In a true twin soul bond, neither of you will say anything mean or degrading to each other.
Despite the pain the journey can cause, you’ll likely defend your twin soul to friends or family—even when they don’t understand.

Your twin flame will never hurt you on purpose.
That doesn’t mean you won’t feel hurt by their actions.

They might say:

• “I don’t have romantic feelings for you.”

• “I’m not ready to commit.”

If you chase, they may:

• Ignore you

• Block you

• Withdraw completely

And yes, this can drive you insane.
Many Divine Feminines even wonder:

“What’s the point of life without them?”

That’s not healthy.
But remember—they’re not hurting you—they’re withdrawing.

It’s not a crime to say “not now.”

I’ve been there.
My twin flame once told me:

“You are my dream woman. One day I will choose you—but not now.”

It shattered me. That sentence echoed in my mind for three years.
It made me believe I was constantly “almost enough.”
I attracted more and more situations with the same pattern:
Love… but no commitment.

Clients have heard excuses like:

• “I’m too busy.”

• “I need my freedom.”

• “I have to take care of my children.”

• “We live too far apart.”

• “I’m too old / You’re too old.”

These are not rejections—they are fears.

🌱 Sign #2:

Your twin soul always stimulates your personal and spiritual growth—directly or indirectly.

In a toxic relationship, your:

• Self-love

• Self-confidence

• Inner strength

…are weakened by criticism and control.

But your twin flame?

✅ They encourage you directly:

• “Go for that job!”

• “You’re on the right path.”

• “I’m proud of your growth.”

✅ Or they mirror your wounds:
They reflect what you need to heal. It’s not always fun, but it’s transformative.
Every trigger = a blessing.
Every mirror = a step toward union.

Your twin flame puts your growth first, even if it means sacrificing their own desires.

🦋 The Good News

You can turn a twin flame connection into a healthy, lasting relationship.
You cannot do that with a narcissistic or toxic partner.

In toxic relationships:

• Arguments never end

• Manipulation persists

• Disrespect remains

• Unconditional love is absent

But with your twin flame:

❤️ You feel seen
💫 Supported
🙏 Cared for
💖 Understood
🌟 Respected

…once you reach union.

🧠 Should You Study False Twin Flame Checklists?

No.

Reading those checklists only:

• Reinforces doubt

• Attracts more uncertainty

• Strengthens the “false twin” fear loop

The more you search for signs that it’s a false twin…
…the more you’ll find them.

Instead:

Trust your connection.

How to be sure?
👉 Watch my video about “How to know you’re dealing with your true twin flame.”

Final Recap:

• ❌ A twin flame will NEVER degrade you

• ✅ A twin flame WILL stimulate personal and spiritual growth

• ❌ Narcissistic relationships destroy self-love

• ✅ Twin flame unions BUILD it

• 🔁 You CAN create a healthy, fulfilling twin soul relationship

Need support?
✨ Book a Twin Soul Talk
✨ Or watch our YouTube channel—we’re adding new videos every week!

Send you love & light,
Lorraine